Evil Does Not Sleep
by aniutka370
Summary: There is one thing Spencer had been trying to forget. But didn't he know that the past doesn't like being forgotten? Didn't he learn that sometimes instead of forgetting you have to face the demons? Well, if he wasn't aware, he will be soon. Warnings: past: non-con, rape, m/m, underage, suicidal thoughts; some bad case of language
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: SO SO SO! Finally I get to update the promised story! 3:) I am so freaking out at the moment of posting it because the flashbacks _are_ based on the real events that happened to no-one other than me so, yeah, it is hard to publish that.**

 **Also, some introduction: I will be writing the old team: Derek, Hotch, Spencer, Rossi, Prentiss, JJ, Garcia, because that's where I stopped watching CM, sorry if that offends anyone ;)**

 **Warning: cheating, rape, suicide attempt**

 **Some introduction at first: it will be mostly flashbacks at first but then I will proceed with an actual plot so you just wait and enjoy the true events that will happen in the flashbacks!**

* * *

 _"So, I've heard you and Cassie broke down?" a positive hum. "Must be pretty hard on you. I mean, I know you loved her. Like, really bad. You didn't even see the signs of-"_

 _"SHUT UP!" Spencer yelled over the phone._

 _"Whoa, dude, chill, I won't say anything anymore if you don't want me to." the voice over the phone quickly said._

 _"I'm sorry Micheal, it's not really... I don't really want to... You know... I'm still at school and if I start thinking about... I'll just... break down" Spencer laughed nervously, trying to stop the teary feeling._

 _"I get it, bro. Why don't you come over? You know, I'll make you some tea or coffee maybe, we'll watch some films with nice booties and boobies and you'll forget?" Micheal asked friendly and that earned him a smile from his friend._

 _"Yeah, sure. I'll be in a minute." Spencer answered and hung up the phone. He took a deep breath and walked out of the school. So far so good. But then-_

 _"Spencer, wait!" he heard a voice he was dreading to hear again._

 _"What do you want_ Cassie _?" he asked with venom spilling out of his mouth._

 _"I just want to talk... Look, I really am sorry for what happened." she said slowly._

 _"Oh, stop it. You don't really think your sorry will heal the fact that you cheated on me? Apparently, have been for all those years we've been together?" Spencer laughed humorlessly at his ex._

 _"What, you saw me doing it once and you think that I do it every day?" she yelled angry._

 _"I'm a fucking genius, Cassie. I kind of can say when you're lying and when you do something so long that it has become a habit to you. The thing you did? It looked quiet like a habit to me!" Spencer answered with a loud shout as well._

 _"Fine. But from now on? Your life is going to be one hell of a hell!" she screeched angrily and walked off._

 _"Oh great, nice to know your intelligence is as high as your vocabulary knowledge!" he hissed after her and walked towards his best friend's house. They were friends for almost 12 years and both really helped each other when the second one needed it. It was mostly Micheal helping Spencer, however, but that was not important for him._

 _Spencer opened the door to his friend's house and yelled a loud "Micheal?" in order to let Micheal acknowledge him._

 _"In the living room!" he heard his best friend's voice announce his location and happily followed the voice._

 _"Hi there" he was met with a soft glance and a welcoming voice._

 _"Hi Micheal..." he answered, letting his tiredness get the better of him and collapsing on the couch next to his friend._

 _"Sooo..." Micheal started slowly, unsure how to get Spencer talk. "You wanna tea? Coffee?" he asked and when he received a small "tea, please" he smiled and went straight to the kitchen just to get back with the already made liquid._

 _"Thanks..."_

 _"No prob, bro. So... do you want to talk about it? I mean... I know how much she meant to you..."_

 _"You know... For a moment I thought that I was... important... That my dad was wrong when he said that nobody would ever love me because of... being me. And because of being with her? I let myself think that he was wrong. I was so_ stupid! _" he sighed in frustration, punching his thigh._

 _"Hey, hey, hey!" Micheal quickly took Spencer's hand away from his body so that the boy wouldn't hurt himself. "It's not your fault. She was the cheating bitch, deep down you know it. You must know it. You're a goddamn genius. Right?" when he didn't receive an answer, he sighed softly and hugged the younger boy._

 _"I'm sorry Micheal... It's just..." Spencer spoke softly, letting the tears fall finally._

 _"Frustrating? Heartbreaking? Infuriating? Sad? Unpleasant? Annoying?" Micheal asked, smiling a sad smile._

 _"Funny." Spencer answered and when he felt his friend's heartbeat skip a beat he corrected himself. "I mean... I really thought that it would last forever and I_ am _a genius so... yeah. I find it funny above it all." he laughed softly but he didn't really feel like it. He felt more like crying which, to be honest, he'd been doing since he entered the home of his friend._

 _"Don't talk like that. There was no way you could've known it wouldn't last. As far as I was concerned you two would die for each other." Micheal spoke softly, hugging his friend closer._

 _"Yeah, well, I thought so too. I would die for her. Oh, hell I would..." he smirked but Micheal couldn't possibly see it. "Buuut... If I'm already here... And since you have all those incredible games on your new computer..." he slowly started, making his friend's smile to appear and grow. "I AM SO GONNA MAKE YOU LOOSE!" he yelled with a childish laugh, throwing his friend off of him and making his way towards the computer, his tea still in his hand._

 _"You don't even stand a chance against me, kid! I've been living in this world six years longer than you have, bear with it!" Micheal roared playfully, grabbing a controller into his hands._

 _"We'll see about it!" Spencer laughed triumphantly._

* * *

He woke up slowly, not really wanting to remember. He looked at his phone

 **1 massage**

 **Jennifer Jerrau**

 **We've got a case. Be ASAP**

He smiled. He needed it. He needed something to get his head on. The dreams that he'd been dreaming were constantly reappearing and as much as he tried to forget them, his eidetic memory didn't allow him to do so. So... so much for the distraction.

He got up and got himself ready for work. He cleaned himself as well as he could, scratching every inch of his body, as always. It was always the most important thing in Spencer's morning, always taking more than an hour to accomplish fully. Then, his coffee, a lot of sugar in it. Now, that he felt awaken, he could proceed with his work day.

* * *

When he got to the bureau, he saw that everyone was already in the meeting room, waiting for him.

"I'm sorry it took me so long." he mumbled and sat down as fast as possible. He didn't look anyone in the eye, he didn't want to deal with all the curious glances from his teammates.

"And why exactly did it take you so long to get here, Reid?" Hotch asked skeptically.

"My coffee express stopped working." he came out with a perfect excuse. They all knew that Dr. Spencer Reid, without his morning coffee was not Dr. Spencer Reid so they all smiled at that, Derek and Rossi both actually hiding a laugh. Without further ado, Penelope started briefing the team in.

"So... We've got a bad case of rape and murder on thin, tall boys with brown curly hair. They were all sixteen. There were six victims so far, the locals are worried there soon will be the seventh one." Penelope stated, not even daring to look at the pictures she was showing to her friends.

"They all look alike. Same age, same figure, same hair style. Something connects them, _someone_ connects them. Maybe the UnSub's first lover?" Derek suggested. Rossi shook his head.

"No, not like a lover. He doesn't live in delusion. He doesn't treat them like he would his lover. He is rough, merciless. It's more like the victims are based on his first victim." Rossi stated, his face scrunched in disgust.

"So we should be looking for another body?" JJ asked thoughtfully.

"Not really." Emily perked up. "Maybe he rapes the boys like he did with his first victim and then remembers something and kills them. It might be that his first victim is still alive. I don't know how to say it so that you could understand but... Maybe the UnSub knew his first victim and didn't want him or her to be hurt. Maybe he raped them in the heat of the moment and then realized what he had done. But before he could apologize, the first victim was gone and now he rapes the boys that look like the first victim and then kills them so that they don't have to live with being violated in such a way." she suggested, getting slightly frustrated at the thought of not being able to explain something important. Spencer shot her a look full of understanding.

"If your thinking is right, we might find the first victim based on the victomology. Where are we heading this time?" Derek asked, looking over his file once again before closing it.

"Las Vegas. Wheels up in twenty." was all Hotch said before standing up and walking out of the meeting room.

"Wait. Las Vegas. Thin, tall boys, brown, curly hair. Reid!" Derek yelled loudly after the young genius. Spencer tensed up for a moment and then willed his body to relax.

"What is it?" he asked innocently, as clueless as he could.

"Do you have a long lost twin we didn't know about?" Morgan asked playfully. Spencer looked at him as if he was some kind of an alien.

"What are you even talking about? He would be in my files, first of all, and then, why would I hide him from you if I had one?" he asked. Perfectly played, he had to admit that to himself.

"Oh man, never mind..." Derek laughed, ignoring the smirks of his teammates as he patted the still "clueless" genius and walked to gather his belongings.

* * *

After twenty minutes, they were all sitting comfortably on the jet, getting over the case once again. Spencer tried to tell himself that it wasn't that... that it wasn't _him_. It couldn't be.

 _His hands tracing circles over Spencer's shuddering body. The touch he dreaded, the fingers he hated, the breath he loathed, the man he once considered a best friend, an anchor._

Spencer shrugged the feelings off. It wasn't the right time to feel...it. It was the time he saved all those boys from someone he probably knew all too well.

"Reid, what do you think?" Hotch asked his youngest teammate. Spencer's actions that morning were disturbing him, to say at least. He was staring absentmindedly off somewhere he only knew, he let himself be less concentrated than ever. Not to mention his cheap excuse of his express being broken. Sixth time a week? Really? Aaron was surprised that, among all those profilers in the room, he was the only one who noticed the obvious lie or the way Spencer looked. He was sleepy, his bangs under his eyes more like black eyes, his cheeks hollow. He looked like hell. And Hotch was the only one to notice. Laughable. He made a decision that he would talk to Spencer as soon as he had the occasion to do so.

"Um... I think that what Emily said back in the office could be right. They could be friends and while they might not be anymore, the UnSub still tries to regain the long lost friendship by repeating the process and then 'apologizing' to all those boys." he said quickly.

"Oh my... How exactly did you put something like that into less than thirty words while it took me eternity to explain it and only you understood!?" Prentiss moaned exasperated and everyone laughed at her.

"Well, he _is_ a genius, isn't he? He has to deal with people not understanding him more than you would ever imagine. He's used to explaining everything by now, I guess." JJ smiled softly at the now blushing genius. Everyone just laughed more at that reaction. Hotch, however, only frowned. How exactly did Reid know that thing? While it was probably right, Prentiss didn't exactly mention victim and UnSub being friends. She spoke of them more like of relatives or just two people knowing each other. _Not_ friends. And how did he know that they were not friends anymore. And the 'long lost friendship line'? How did he know if the first rape happened long ago? It could have had happened a year or even a month ago and yet Spencer was talking about _long_ lost friendship. Yeah, he would definitely have to talk about it with the youngest.

"Hotch is everything okay? Why are you staring at me?" Do I have something on my face?" Spencer asked his coworker worriedly. Hotch just smiled halfheartedly and shook his head.

"Not really. Let's end it here. Get some sleep, we'll be landing in two hours."

* * *

 **A/N: Oh my, Hotch is picking up on some big stuff. Are you?**

 **And big teddy-bear hugs to SpenceFWT, thanks for finding my stupid mistake! I mistook Virginia and Las Vegas accidentally :o**

 **Read and review! It would be highly appreciated!**

 **Love you all guys!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here I am! Thank you all so much for the great reviews, you are amazing and I am really (really really) proud of being able to write for such great people! (no kidding, no exaggerating) So, here we go with the next chap! :D I really hope you will like it and leave me a review 3:)**

* * *

"Hotch, do you mind if I talked to you for a second?" Morgan asked worriedly after they landed and were going to their SUV's. Aaron looked at him for a moment and, seeing the look in his eyes, agreed momentarily. Hotch decided that he and Morgan would go together (as much as he wanted to keep an eye on Reid, he couldn't do it while speaking to Morgan in private) and get ready at the station, Rossi and Emily would go to the victim's families to gather information and JJ and Reid would go to the crime scenes. When it was all set, Morgan and Hotch began the awkward ride to the police station.

"So... What did you want to talk about?" Hotch asked, breaking the tension in the car which was, not clear as to why, building up faster and faster.

"I noticed that you were staring at Reid all the time. What's on your mind?" Morgan asked curiously. Hotch looked at him for a moment, thinking about a lie he could possibly sell to the darker man. Because, if he was right about the thing with Spencer, he should talk to him about it first, not with Derek. And it wouldn't be right to tell Morgan something that doesn't concern him. (It's not that Hotch wanted to share a secret with Reid and Reid only, not at all!)

"I don't want to sound impolite, Morgan, but I don't think it concerns you, so you don't have to worry about it." Hotch stated. He was so good at lying when he was a teenager, what happened with that blessed ability!?

"Yeah, sure, but you see, the thing is, Reid is like a brother to me. So whatever concerns him, concerns me as well. And you were staring at him. That means, whatever bothers you concerns him. And I've already said the last part." Morgan said, trying not to sound like an overprotective mother. Hotch laughed a little at that.

"Morgan, whatever is going on with me or Reid, I haven't really figured it out yet. Reid doesn't know anything though, so I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't tell him that I was 'staring at him' as you said. Also, as fast as I figure this out, I will speak to Reid about it first. Then, I will talk to you. Because it doesn't matter how much you think you have the right to know, he deserves to know first and agree to you even being concerned." Hotch tried to sound confidentially and, apparently, Morgan did buy it. _Not bad,_ Hotch thought to himself. Derek gave him a nod as an answer and they both rode to the station in complete, respective silence.

"Hello, this is SSA Derek Morgan, I am SSA Aaron Hotchner and you have spoken to our media liaison on the phone. The rest of the team is already investigating and I will introduce them later to you." Hotch spoke slowly, shaking the sheriff's hand firmly.

"Nice to meet you folks. I am Sheriff Theodore Baxter. Come with me, I'll show you the room we've prepared for your team." the sheriff spoke as he walked the two FBI agents into the room. "So, this is where you will be investigating. Here you have the board you've asked us to prepare, and those two boxes contain all the documents we've managed to lay our hands on that might concern the case. Hope you'll catch the bastard as soon as possible, I've known the last boy, he was a really nice and kind kid. I won't sleep until we find that son of a bitch." the sheriff said before he left, shutting the door quite loudly behind himself.

"Well, no pressure, not at all, bro." Morgan muttered under his breath, causing Hotch to smirk.

"Well, let's get to work. We'll get the board ready and maybe start with the documents. As soon as everyone is here, we'll know more." Aaron stated, getting the first box open and clipping some of the photos and the map to the board.

* * *

 _"Spencer, get over here!" Micheal yelled after him, running through the garden, chasing the hyperactive kid._

 _"You said you could catch me! Let's try!" Spencer laughed. He had told Micheal that smoking will make him move slower and run out of breath faster. They'd decided to bet but Spencer was winning so far._

 _"That ain't fair dude. I bet you were cheating." Micheal said afterwards, trying to take a deep breath and not to collapse. Spencer laughed and handed his friend a glass of water._

 _"So you say but I am the one that is more than three years younger and have shorter legs. I also am considered the geeky one, which would lead us to the suspicion that I really am not as fast as you think I am. Moreover, there is no way I could be cheating because all we did was running on the road. You saw me all the time." Spencer rambled, laughing at the tired expression on his best friend's face._

 _"Shut it kiddo. Let's sit down, I'm gonna faint..." Micheal mumbled under his breath and proceed to sit on the coach._

* * *

"Oh, I hate that part of our job..." Emily sighed when they neared to the family of the first victim's house.

"Yeah, I don't think anyone does. Unless you're a sadistic bastard. Then you just might be enjoying the sight of the broken family crying over the loss." Rossi added slowly, knocking on the door. They waited in silence for a moment and then they heard the sound of the door being unlocked and prepared to speak with the victim number one's family.

"Hello?" asked the small voice of a twelve-year-old girl. She looked up at them and started speaking again. "Mom and Dad are in the living room, they've asked me to open the door and let you two in, so come on." she smiled and opened the door wider so that the two agents could get into the house.

"Thank you sweetheart." Emily smiled at her as she and Rossi got to the room, where the parents were waiting. "Hello, we are Emily Prentiss and David Rossi, we're here to investigate the case." she spoke up to the two people sitting on the coach, as close to each other as possible.

"Hello. Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea?" the woman asked.

"Yes, coffee, please." Rossi answered politely as they were gestured to sit down on the two armchairs. The man waited until his wife went to the kitchen to prepare the drinks.

"So what do you want to know?" he asked as soon as he'd heard the sound of the pot being turned on. Both FBI agents looked at each other before giving the man a sympathetic smile.

"First, we'd like to know if your son knew the other victims." Emily started slowly. They both watched closely the behaviour of the man in front of them. He was still in shock after what had happened with his son.

"No, he only knew Peter but that was because they were going to the same school." the man shook his head, sighing.

"Okay. Did he have any enemies?" Rossi supported.

"Well, not enemies but... I mean, he was tall and thin, there were bullies that liked to pick on him but he was always nice to everyone as far as I'm concerned." the man visibly shuddered at the thought of his son being bullied. "I just wish there was something I could do to stop those kids from making him suffer when just before he died he... got through something this terrible..." he added, sniffling and wiping the tear from his cheek. The two agents gave him a moment to calm down as they saw the woman reentering the room with the tray filled with five cups.

"Annie, darling, come, I've made you some tea! It's your favourite flavour!" she yelled softly for her daughter and smiled at her when the girl entered the room with a happy expression on her face. She mumbled a 'thank you' and ran out of the room, happily jumping up after taking a sip of the drink. As soon as the child was out of the hearing range, the woman let her smile slip.

"She doesn't know that Scott is dead. She doesn't know a thing about what has happened to her beloved brother. How will I ever explain to her that he's not coming back? How will she take it? She's just a twelve-year-old child who loved her brother more than anything in the world and he loved her just as much. Soon, she will understand. She's not stupid. What should I tell her? How will I explain?" the woman asked softly, looking after her daughter. "excuse me, I'm not feeling well." she suddenly said and immediately sat down. Her husband jumped up to his feet and ran to the kitchen. Rossi sent Emily a look and they both watched closely what was happening in front of their eyes.

"Honey, have you forgotten to align your insulin and sugar level again?" the man asked, handing the the cup of water and a diabetes device to his wife. She just nodded and proceeded to pump her body with the right amount of sugar by eating a chocolate bar.

"Do you have any health problems?" Emily asked gently.

"Yes, it's nothing too serious though. I am diabetic. I just have to watch what I eat and... I'm forgetting about that lately..." she smiled softly.

"Okay, thank you very much for your cooperation. We'll do everything we can to find a person who did this. And about your daughter, ma'am." Rossi said standing up. "She already knows the truth. She's really smart. She didn't want to bother you with that because she probably figured out it would upset you even more. Children are the best profilers in the world, you really have to watch yourself not to show them what you're really feeling inside." he said and they both walked out of the house.

"Well, wasn't that intense..?" Emily said as they entered the car.

"Yeah, I wonder if in every victim's family is at least one person with health problems. It would be another add to our pattern." Rossi said, making a call to Hotch to inform him about their discovery.

* * *

 _"You can't stop thinking about her, can you..?" Micheal asked the sad boy on his coach, handing him his drink. He just received a nod and nothing else. He sighed and sat down next to his friend._

 _"Look, she acted like a total bitch. You can't keep hating yourself because of the way she is. That would be unfair." he added, hugging his best friend._

 _"She told everyone about my mom being a schizophrenic and my dad leaving us. How could she..? I trusted her... You don't-" he sobbed "You don't just go out and tell people things like that... I had been working that courage up our whole relationship..." he buried his face in Micheal's chest and cried once again and once too many that week._

 _"Are the bullies attacking you more because of that?" the older boy asked softly. He cursed when he received a nod in response. Spencer had been coming to him more often lately, showing up with more bruises littering his body, always crying himself to sleep in his best friend's arms._

 _That time was no different. Spencer was asleep when Micheal's parents came home from work. They eyed the kid and sighed sadly._

 _"Poor boy..." the mother whispered, covering Reid with a warm blanket._

 _"I'll go to Diana's make sure she eats, takes her medicine, cleans herself and goes to sleep. Spencer is staying over. I'll bring him clothes. Honey, you make sure he stays at home tomorrow." Theodore said softly, receiving an approving hum and going out of the house. Sabina, the mother of Micheal's, went to the kitchen and prepared a meal for them all. She wiped the tear that threatened to fall from her eye and started cutting vegetables. She treated Spencer like his own son, it hurt her to see him in such an enormous amount of pain. She took a calming breath and brought the tray full of sandwiches to the living room, where Spencer was sitting, wide awake, smiling at her gratefully. How could she not love the boy sitting in front of her when he had a smile that could lighten even the darkest corners of anyone's soul?_

* * *

"It doesn't look like any of our crime scenes have anything interesting in them." JJ started as she and Reid got into their SUV after investigating all the crime scenes.

"Not really, did you see the way he dumped the bodies? They all had their faces up, which means that the UnSub respects them in his own, crazy way. Their eyes were closed, there was no sign of torture. He doesn't want them to suffer, he's replaying a memory of his own. Maybe when he was younger, fifteen-year-old kid, he was raped in a similar way but wasn't killed and now he corrects the mistake of his rapist." Spencer muttered, sipping his over-sugared coffee.

"Or, as you've said earlier, he might had been the rapist and regrets that. He might have come to know the amount of suffering the rape victims go through afterwards and now he wants to compensate it to his first victim so he plays the memory over and over until his conscience is satisfied." JJ supported, taking her eyes off the road and looking at Reid. She was a little surprised to see him not looking at her but outside the window instead. "Reid?" she asked softly. He wouldn't be himself if he didn't space out once in a while but that wasn't his first time that day. She was starting to get worried about his brother-like friend. He looked at her with wide eyes, completely disoriented.

"Huh? Did you say something, JJ?" he asked her, running a hand through is hair. She looked at him strangely.

"Are you OK?" she started, concerned about his friend's good. He wouldn't be taking dilaudid again... would he?

"Yeah, I'm fine, just thinking. You might be right, I mean, you might be right that I was right, I mean..." he sighed frustrated and ran a hand through his hair once again. It seemed that the young genius had developed a new nervous tick of his. "What you were saying might be true and probably is..." he said and stopped the conversation at that point, continuing to look out of the window and leaving JJ to her thoughts.

"Hey, Reid, look, if you have any problems, you know you can talk to me about them, right?" she started yet again. She wouldn't let it go because his best friend's health might have had been depending on it. If it was drugs again, she wouldn't let him take care of this alone. Not again.

"I know, thanks JJ." he smiled at her warmly and hoped that they would spend the rest of the ride in silence. If only he knew how wrong he had been. Just before the station, JJ decided that it was okay for her to push the subject further.

"Reid-Spencer..." JJ took the conversation up again, trying to get through Reid by using his first name. She drove into the police station's parking lot. "Are you... Are you having problems with dilaudid aga-" she stopped immediately when she saw the look on his face, in his eyes. They were sparking with anger, but underneath she could see the well-hidden hurt, betrayal and sadness. His whole thoughtful expression disappeared just to be replaced with agonising pain.

"How... How could you..?" he asked, trying to sound angry but failing and hearing his own voice breaking. He took a deep breath, wiped at his eyes and got out of the car before JJ had the time to turn the engine off.

"Reid, wait!" she yelled after him getting out of the vehicle and running after him. "Spencer, I'm sorry!" she yelled just before he got into the police station and met with the others. Hotch eyed them both suspiciously but decided not to ask what was wrong, because, obviously, something was _really_ wrong if Reid had red eyes, his body language was _screaming_ of hurt and distrust and JJ was standing right behind him, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Let's go, I'll introduce you to the local sheriff and then you'll tell me what you have." he said shortly, turning in the right direction and guiding the pair after him.

"Sheriff, those are the last two of our team. This is our media liaison Jennifer Jerrau, you two spoke on the phone" he started, introducing JJ first and waiting for the sheriff to shake hands with her. "And this is our resident genius, Spencer Reid." Hotch added proudly, waiting for the sheriff to shake his hand but instead saw the shocked expression lightening up all the Baxter's features.

"Kid, did you really join the FBI?" he asked, smiling brightly at Spencer. He nodded shyly and crossed his arms over his chest. Theodore just sighed and hugged him closely. "Whatever, it's no nice to see you again. Micheal still talks about you! At least he was, until the first murder... It's such a shame you stopped coming over, though. What happened?" he asked, patting Reid on the head. The genius visibly flinched at the mention of 'Micheal' but nobody said anything about it. He smiled and patted the man's back.

"Yeah... I had a lot of work to do and Micheal _really_ had to get a job." Spencer laughed, though the profilers could see the lie underneath.

"Well, I'm happy you will be working on that case. As long as we have you, the bastard will be caught sooner than we've originally thought!" the sheriff smiled brightly and walked out, leaving the three FBI agents to themselves.

"I don't want to hear about whatever argument you two had." Hotch started bluntly. "But if that same argument will make you two work less effective, I'll have to put my hands on it. Do we understand each other?" he asked, looking at both agents and noticing the pale face and scared look on Spencer's face. "On the second thought... Reid, you will come with me." he said and dismissed JJ to go to the rest of the team. Which, of course, left the two of them alone.

* * *

 **A/N: Oh my, I've missed writing this fic! Unfortunately, I'm going on holiday tomorrow and won't be back for two weeks. I don't know if I will be able to write anything there, forget posting fics. So I'm giving you the chapter that is longer than anything I've written so far as a compensate for a long wait! I'll update as soon as I can. I hope you liked the chapter, let me know in the reviews! Kisses, love you all! :***


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm finally here, guys! I came back from my perfect holiday in Croatia and am so pumped up with the energy! I can't believe I missed Sam and Casey's wedding! How could I! Well, I'm glad that I can still watch the song they wrote and sang, you should totally check it out: This Promise Sam Tsui & Casey Breves **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything you might recognise (I do own the plot and my OCs)**

* * *

"What is it, Sir?" Spencer asked once JJ walked into the room that locals prepared for their team. Hotch looked at his subordinate for a moment and then started slowly.

"I've noticed some things that could let someone to think that you are personally involved in this case. Does your behaviour have something to do with the case we're working on?" he asked, trying to maintain his business-like tone. _Shit… No, no, no, he can't… no…_ Spencer's thoughts were rushing through his head. _What should I say...? He'll see through all the lies I make up, fuck, no…_ He smiled while he was making the escape plan up.

"Hotch…" he started slowly. "I have no idea, whet you're talking about." He settled on this one. He knew it sucked but it would give him a little more time, which he really needed by the way.

"Well, let's start with that: you know the Sheriff. His son apparently was your best friend and now, you flinch when anyone mentions him. The rapes and murders started just before this whole _Micheal_ stopped talking to you. Your theory is terrifyingly in place, like you were the victim number one, so I'll ask you again: are you connected to this case?" Hotch asked coldly, trying not to show how hurt Spencer not trusting him made him feel.

 _"You know, Micheal, I've been thinking about something lately…" Spencer said as he played with his friend's dog. Micheal looked up from the magazine he'd been reading to see Reid._

 _"What about?" he asked curiously._

 _"Maybe it's time I moved on… I mean, I'm still hurting from what Cassie did to me but… I can't be hurting forever… I think that… I think that I have someone I might like." He blushed at this and Micheal held his breath for a moment not to run to him and take him for that vulnerable expression of his._

 _"Who would that be? Do I know that someone?" he asked, trying to hide emotions that were playing in his head._

 _"Not really…" Spencer started again, blushing harder._ It's not me _was the only thought running through Micheal's mind. "She's younger than me." He continued, crushing Micheal's world with each word. "She's really smart, kind and she's such a good heart. I even told her about my mom and guess what!? She wasn't put off, not even a bit! Micheal, she's the first girl, who isn't scared, or put off, or disgusted! She accepted it! She even said that if I had any problems, I could call her and she'd help! I got her number!" he said excitedly, scratching the dog's head._

 _Micheal stood up slowly and went to his room, gesturing Spencer to go after him. He would not let this happen. Spencer was his. He had to do something. He had to claim Spencer somehow._

 _And he would do it._

 _He just had to figure out how._

Spencer looked at his superior warily and everyone could see the terror hidden there.

"You don't have to be afraid, Reid." Hotch said softly, seeing the expression on his youngest team member. "If my speculations are right, you don't have to worry about me telling anyone, even the team if that's what you want. I just need to know everything so that we can work the case out sooner and catch the UnSub before he rapes and kills more children. You have to understand, I am not asking you as your friend, as much as we both would like to, I have to ask as your superior... I'm sorry, Reid, you have to tell me..." Hotch spoke softly, looking surprisingly understanding. Spencer glared at him. First, JJ thought that he was taking drugs again. That alone was too much. _His best friend_ didn't trust him. She _believed_ that he was taking _drugs_ again!And now... _Deep breaths._ he reminded himself. He straightened his spine and hardened his look.

"Hotch. Let's get this clear. I've had enough of all of your heart-to-heart talk. First, JJ suggested that I was on _drugs_ again. Now, you're saying that I was _raped_ as a child by my _best friend_ who you suspect to be our fucking UnSub! Come on, all of you!" he yelled the last part, really exasperated and... and really scared. And Hotch, unfortunately for Spencer, Aaron saw right through it. He got closer and wrapped him into a close hug.

"It's okay..." he whispered, cradling the younger man closer to him. And that was all it took to shatter all the shields Spencer had brought up to shelter himself from the reality of the situation. He let out a sob. He felt his tears drop down on his superior's suit and he felt so ashamed of himself. He tried to stop the tears, he really did. but they didn't want to stop. They wanted to fall down, to clear his soul from all the darkness that was slowly taking over him. "You know..." Hotch started after a moment of silence and speechless comforting the man he came so close to caring during all those years. "The tears are actually helping. They clear the soul. They're like a rain. They wash away all the pain you feel. They melt down all the coldness inside of you. It's okay to cry from time to time. You just have to make sure there's always someone who will help you stop them when they start washing away parts of you." he whispered into Spencer's ear softly.

It didn't take them long to stop the tears from falling down Reid's face, but, to them, it felt like an eternity. When Spencer finally stopped sobbing and the tear flow slowed down, he took a step back from Hotch.

"I'm ah, I'm sorry. If you want me to sit out the case, I will." he murmured quietly, wrapping his arm around himself tightly in a self-soothing way. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience I caused, Sir." he added and was just about to leave when a warm hand caught his.

"I didn't say you've caused an inconvenience. I didn't say that I would put you out of the case and I do not plan on doing so. I'm going to hate myself for what I'm going to ask you now..." he answered, wincing at the end.

"You want to know if I could tell you more about him, his looks, his behaviour, everything that might help us catch him." Spencer stated coldly, hugging himself closer. He couldn't make himself remember Micheal. It would only hurt him more and more. He had been fighting so hard to forget every thought, every word, every feeling, every touch. And now Hotch wanted him to relieve all of those? No way. He shook his head and shrugged off the sympathetic look he got could feel. "No, Hotch, I won't, I-I can't it... it'll just hurt too much... Please, don't make me..." he whispered, his voice barely audible but still Hotch heard it clearly. He sighed and took one step closer to the young man.

"I know... I know it's too much to ask. But.. I would be there for you, for every second of you relieving it. I wouldn't let you get lost in your own head, in your own memories, I promise. Just... Think about how many children, how many souls, how many lives you would save by telling me all those important things about him. It could be the key to solving the case." he tried again, pushing another button called "conscience". He knew it was far from being fair and he hated himself for playing that kind of games with Spencer, _especially_ Spencer. But it worked. He hated it, would hate every second of it, but it worked. And they would be able to save someone. But would Hotch be able to save Spencer from his eidetic memory? From himself?

He would think about it later, because right then, Spencer nodded his head.

* * *

"JJ, why was Reid so angry at you? I saw you coming in, he seemed furious but it was nothing compared to the hurt I saw on his face." Morgan asked curiously as the blonde came into the room. She sent him a guilty look and sat heavily on the chair.

"I noticed that he was acting really... off. So I confronted him about it and asked him if..." she stopped to take a deep breath. Oh, they would hate her for that... She certainly did not act like a best friend he considered her to be.

"If he was taking drugs again, JJ?" Rossi ended it for her and she could only do as much as nod. She didn't want to look up from her lap. She didn't want to see all those shocked, disappointed looks she thought she would see as soon as she looked at her teammates.

"JJ, it's okay. I've been suspecting it as well, I was just afraid of confronting him about it." Emily said gently, patting her knee.

"At least now we can say that he's not doing it again, can we?" Morgan added reassuringly. JJ looked up and saw their faces. they weren't angry, disappointed, mad. They were sad. Sad that their friend wasn't telling them what was going on and that they couldn't help him.

When they were all about to start talking about the UnSub, they heard a shout from the other room. They all looked art each other, before rushing out from their seats and to the sound of a shout. Because they'd all realised who was shouting.

 _Reid_

What they saw was far from their expectations. They thought they would see Reid fighting with someone, they expected more shouts, more violence. They surely did not expect Spencer being hugged close to Aaron. They as hell did not expect the older man stroking Reid's hair, whispering words of comfort. That wasn't just typical. They shared another look with one another, this time understanding one, and came back to their room, trying not to think about what they'd just seen.

* * *

 _"Micheal, are you mad or something?" Spencer asked slowly as he entered the room._

 _"Come on and sit, Spencer." Micheal patted the place on bed next to him. The younger man obeyed."How long have we known each other?" Micheal asked. Spencer gave him a strange look but didn't do anything but answer._

 _"Eleven years, seven months, two weeks and three days. Why?" he couldn't resist the silent question. It was all too strange for his liking._

 _"Right. We've always been best friends, am I wrong?"_

 _"No, you're right."_

 _"Perfect. Haven't we gotten closer to each other after the whole 'girlfriend' fiasco?"_

 _Now, that was_ suspicious _._

 _"We have. And I'm thankful for that." Spencer answered warily. That earned him a laugh._

 _"No, it's not about being thankful, Spencer." Micheal smiled at him coldly. "It's about you not learning on your mistakes." ha caught Spencer's elbow in his hand and tightened the hold._

 _"Micheal, you're hurting me." Spencer started panicking then. This was not the direction he wanted it to go in._

 _"Haven't you learnt already that having a girlfriend is not for you!?" Micheal yelled, punching the boy on the face with such strength that Spencer fell on the bed. he tried to stand up, tried to run, but suddenly, there was someone on him, everywhere._

* * *

"Okay, why don't you start with how he looked like when he was younger." Hotch asked slowly, cautiously getting Spencer out from the flashback he was apparently having.

"I really think that we should ask Sheriff about how he looks like now..." Spencer tried yet again to run, though he knew it was futile.

"You know that we can't risk him finding out that his son is the suspect and most probably our UnSub..." Hotch answered, trying to sound casual but, really, failing.

"I know..." Spencer sighed and braced himself, hugging his body closely, holding himself up. "He was really tall. I would estimate that now he's about 1,95 meters tall. He had brown eyes, dark brown hair. He was slim but... really strong..." he whispered, trying not to fall into another flashback.

"It's alright, remember that I'm here." Hotch reassured softly, putting one hand on Spencer's knee and cursing himself when the man flinched from the touch.

"He had... visible cheekbones, his eyebrows were thick and brown... He was cheeky, really cheeky but he had a good heart.. Or so I thought, before he..." Spencer stopped, trying to calm his breathing, taking comfort from Hotch's hands touching his knee.

"Before he raped me." he breathed out.

* * *

A/N: BAM BAM BAAAAAAAM So, I've finally managed to update the story, yeyayeya! :D I promise, you won't have to wait for another one so long. Did you like the chapter? Leave me your review and your thoughts on that piece of fiction, maybe some suggestions at where the story should go from now on? I'm open for your propositions! Love you all!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Oh my, I know I promised you the short wait but... THE SCHOOL ;-; we should kill it. And, of course, I decided that it would be A PERFECT IDEA to start listening to kpop (again, damn it) and I got completely consumed by it ;-; I am so sorry!**

 **Aaand the answers to your reviews (which I am really thankful for)**

 **I will only reply to the guests' ones because of the obvious reasons**

 **Guest \- He was hurt by Micheal for the first time when he was 17. Now he is 27 so it would be 10 years since the first time Micheal hurt him. ;) I am sorry to tell you that none of the pairings you've mentioned you'd like to happen are actually going to happen. In my story (it will be explained later on in the fic) Spence is not gay, straight, bi or pan (or whatever sexuality you came up with) he's just Spencer loving a person not the body, mind or character. He suits that well (in my, personal, opinion) so he's written this way. Also, I wanted him to appear weak, which wouldn't be so great if he was to be with a girl. Because girls are usually the weak ones, not men. And two weak people in one couple? I don't like the feeling of it, I'm sorry...**

* * *

"Okay." Hotch stated, trying to ease the anger, pain and fury that were building up in him. "Why don't you start with the beginning?"

"Hotch... I don't... I don't know if I can, please..." Spencer almost begged his superior with those puppy eyes of his. Aaron knew, however, that they had to do it. He had to know everything that could help him built up the profile and catch the bastard that hurt his Reid like that.

Wait...

 _His_ Reid?

 _No, don't think like that, he's like a son to you. It's normal that you are concerned and angry with someone hurting him and that you feel the need to claim his belonging. In a parental way._ He reminded himself coldly.

"I'm sorry, Spencer. I don't want to do it as well. But you and I both know that you _have_ to do this..." he stated softly. "For the good of the case?" he added carefully.

"You know what, Hotch!?" Spencer suddenly yelled out angrily, standing up. "I opened up to you, I told you about something terrible that I can't live down even though it's been almost ten years and you want me to continue? I wouldn't be that angry if it wasn't for the fact that you seem to want to know _every single detail_ of it! Shit, Hotch, it's not something I enjoy talking about! Do you have _any_ idea how hard it was for me to even admit it to you!? You got the perfect idea, Aaron! let's talk about how I screamed for help because it fucking _hurt_ so bad but nobody came! Let's talk about his mother being in the room next to his and doing nothing but watching her goddamned _TV_! I considered her a parent to me, you know!? And she just watched her TV even though she could hear pretty clearly what was happening because, hell, even the people on the street could. And yet _no-one_ came to save me! I prayed! i did! And do you know what!? It didn't help even a little! I thought I had my place on Earth, people who cared about me! That's what you get for trusting people! You get hurt." he yelled, not being able to stop the tears from flowing out like a rivers. He was so _fed up_ with all this. "And yet, all you care about is the fucking case." he added bitterly and stormed out of the police station, sending Morgan a message that he would be waiting for them in the hotel.

 _How could he..._ was the only thing he was able to think about as he headed straight to the hotel.

That is... Until someone grabbed him and then everything went dark.

* * *

"Well now, that didn't exactly sound like before..." Rossi said concerned as they, once again, heard the yelling.

"Should we check on them?" Emily asked, worried as everyone else in the room.

"No, let's give them some space." JJ answered softly. She was growing more and more scared that Spencer could actually be on drugs. And that they all failed to see it.

"Hell no. It didn't sound like exasperated Reid. That sounded like heartbroken and really, _really,_ sad Reid. And not because of something that happened but because of something that Hotch said. So I _will_ go check what happened and maybe I will have to kick someone's ass as well." Morgan spoke up shortly and then stood up and simply left.

When he saw Hotch standing in the middle of the room they were in, without Reid, he actually had to force his anger down. He closed the distance between them and did his best to look calm.

"What happened?" he asked simply. Hotch looked at him as if he was surprised that the agent was actually standing there - right in front of him.

"I... I said something wrong. Really wrong. I pushed too far for all the wrong reasons." he answered quietly, still replaying the talk he had with Spencer in his head. it really hit him that the first thing he thought about was the case, not the well-being of his friend.

"Did it have to do something with his feelings?" Morgan continued his small interrogation.

"Yes, it did."

"Did you consider them?"

"No... No I didn't..."

 _SLAP_

Rossi, Emily, JJ and the sheriff got to the scene exactly when Morgan's fist hit Hotch's face. They all looked shocked. Because of the thing that happened right in front of them? Yes, partially. But mainly because of the expressions the two of them were wearing - calm.

"You said that you would talk to him and not to interrupt. So I gave you the room to do so. I stayed away for you, for _him_. And you go and just... Man, I thought that you got through his shields once I saw him crying on your shoulder. He trusted you, probably even told you what was wrong. And you said what exactly?" Morgan asked, hissing the words out of his mouth.

"I told him that... He should say more. For the good of the case..." Hotch admitted slowly, looking down ashamed. You could hear the soft cure that flew out of Rossi's mouth just before Morgan's phone announced that he got a message.

No-one said anything, thy just waited for Morgan to read the message out loud which he never did. He just acknowledged it and put the phone back in his jacket.

"He was not feeling well so he headed back to the hotel. Looks like we have quite an important case. Apparently even more important than a part of our family." he stated and walked back into the office.

"Well, Aaron, you have to admit that he _got_ some things right, didn't he?" Rossi spoke up after a moment of silence, pattd his friend's shoulder and walked after Morgan. Every other witness of the commotion just followed Rossi's suit.

"Agent Hotchner." the sheriff spoke up when they were alone.

"What is it?" Aaron asked calmly. He was surprised with himself that he was actually able to maintain any hold of his emotions. he really acted like a dick. He would have to apologise.

"You know, Spencer is really close to me and, even though we haven't talked in years, I still consider him my son. And I really don't like anyone hurting my children. So... Even though you are the highest rank here, I have to tell you that I do not and _will_ not consider you as one." he stated coldly. Hotch just looked at him exasperated. He would be on a shit-list of too many people for the time being.

"If you care about him so much then how are you still okay with being around your son and your wife?" he asked and just entered the office, leaving Baxter stunned and to his own thoughts.

* * *

"Hotch what was that with the sheriff?" JJ asked as soon as the leader entered the room they all were in.

"He was just being a hypocrite." he answered shortly and sat down. "Look. I got some new information about the unsub." he added, trying to keep the source of information a secret.

"And I guess that it has nothing to do with a crying Reid and 'for the good of the case' line?" Rossi asked grimly, looking straight into Aaron's eyes. He wasn't judging him. He was simply stating the fact and, what is the most important thing, he was studying his friend's expression, body language and the way it all confirmed his fears.

"It does..." Hotch admitted quietly. He could hear the soft gasps from every other person in the room and wasn't able to meet their sad gazes.

"So... I guess that you should tell us more about the bastard..." Morgan barely spoke up after a minute of complete silence.

* * *

After an hour of the team getting to know the story Spencer had told Hotch about and the team profiling the UnSub (who they all now knew was Micheal, the Theodore Baxter's son) they were all exhausted. It would be hard if the story was of someone they didn't know. But hearing it and imagining the part of their family being the main character was an entirely worse feeling.

"Let's call it a night and... Well, we'll get to that tomorrow. Now we have somewhere to attend to." Hotch said dismissively and got up to leave.

"Finally you're talking!" Morgan brightened up ever so slightly and followed his superior to the exit as did the rest of the team (with their approving nods)

"Let's go boys, before our sleeping beauty goes to sleep." JJ laughed softly and walked into one of the SUVs.

"Wait... Did he actually walk the whole distance from here to the hotel?" Emily asked when she saw all of the cars standing in the parking lot.

"Maybe he got into a cab..?" Morgan suggested.

"Call him." was all Hotch said before he started growing more and more worried about his teammate. Derek did as asked and after he punched the speed dial and was automatically sent to the voicemail, they all shared one feeling - anxiety.

"Call Garcia, tell her to track the place where Reid's signal went off." Rossi spoke up, seeing Aaron's face. It was a mixture of all the bad feelings and Dave didn't like that. They couldn't afford losing their leader's mind. "For now, let's head to the hotel, maybe he's sleeping and we're just overreacting the situation." he added and got into the SUV with Aaron to be able to react as quick as possible if Hotch started acting out of character.

* * *

When he woke up, for a moment everything was a blur. He tried to make something out of all the colours but he didn't succeed. That is until he remembered what got him there in the first place.

He was hit with something. _That would explain why his head hurt so bad_.

Before he was hit, he got into a yelling fit with... He moaned at the thought He started to really care about the man and then he just stood and yelled at him for no apparent reason because he felt hurt. He would have to apologise later.

When he got out.

When would he get out?

Where was he?

Who was he with?

So many questions he couldn't answer plus the throbbing headache made him groan out with a frustrated tone to it.

"Oh, Spence! You've finally woken up!" the voice he didn't recognise told him. "I'm so glad you did! I was slowly starting to think that I hit you too hard!" _Why is he so concerned about me..? I don't even know him..._ was all Spencer's blurry mind was able to think of.

"Who are you..?" he asked in his raspy voice. He cleared his throat just so he wouldn't sound that weak again.

"Oh my, you don't recognise me!" the figure gasped sadly, getting closer to the place - was it bed? - Spencer was lying in.

"No, I'm sorry. It is, however, kind of hard to think about anything but the headache you gave me by hitting me in my head and, therefore, managing to knock me out." he stated, irritated at the situation he got himself into. He was kidnapped while the team, including him, was in the middle of a case, catching a really dangerous UnSub, who he probably somehow ended up knowing...

Wait...

Micheal...

The UnSub...

"I'm sorry about the head, I hope the pain will pass as soon as possible, Spence." _No, no_ "I am however utterly disappointed of you not remembering me..." _don't let him be..._ "Don't you remember those fantastic moments we've spent together?" his voice too sweet for Spencer's liking. His face too well-known for his liking...

"I'm Micheal, you dummy!"

 _Shit..._

* * *

A/N: Oh I am so sorry but I really wanted the chap to end that way... Did you like it? I know you did even if you are entirely sure you didn't! ;) Give me your precious reviews they're like a drug to me! Kisses and see you soon! (keep the hankies close! :3)


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